The Year That Was 2009 (a series of unfortunate events?!! story telling but not quite )

Trials had always been a part of my life and I have never grown getting tired of battling with it. But 2009, though, was the year that completely impacted my being.


First part of the year has made reality plainly slapped me on the face. The unfortunate event that estranged me from my clan made me realized I was on my own. So, the rest of the earlier months made single motherhood rub it in. I had to exhaust all financial resources just to sustain my kids and to keep them with me.


Mid-year, had the concept of genuine friendship and work ethics forced itself to my very gullible and trusting character. Being betrayed by people for reasons unknown to me was both a blessing and a sad fact.


The two paradigms that guided me in my career, that is, focus on goals and professionalism, stunted my belief to keep going. When issues started to arise and people try to shake you from your set goals, it does indeed impact your emotional and cognitive side.


The things that happened to me with my social circle and career are up until now, still a complete mystery. I am not a perfect person but in all honesty, I knew that my only fault was being the person that I was in front of them. I never thought that HYPOCRISY until now still lingers around. Had I only known that being too professional and too goal- oriented , would bring me so much negative outcome, then I would have just performed MEDIOCRE. But that was okay, what mattered was, to myself I knew I was always giving my best. Those were not done to prove to everyone that I'm better than the rest but it was a self-fulfilling agenda that indeed I gave it all.


The friendship and career hullaballoo that placed me into two long months of DEPRESSION has taken its toll in my performance. It went from exceeding to still exceeding but extremely unsatisfying to my standards. It also manifested itself to my radical lost of weight which eventually favored me.


Bent to rise from the fall, motivation and being immune from it all had barely made me recover from it. Then the accident that sprained my left foot had to antagonize my redemption. Strutting with crutches, work was never impossible but it really had to debilitate everything for me to being successful. The horrendous MRI experience and the life, surviving an almost a month and a half LOA which had me on a meager work pay, had to place me back into the dumps.


If Mid-year was not bad enough, I would consider the ONDOY FLOODING to be the climax of this story. This disaster cemented my faith in GOD. Indeed, no man will ever be above and beyond the Lord our GOD. I can still recall watching CNN's coverage of Hurricane Katrina's damage to New Orleans and I can never surmise the image of my safe haven being totally submerged in that same raging and murky flash flooding.


Going through it made me see the face of death twice. First instance was, when I waded through the chest-deep high raging current for four hours. With my unsteady legs and with each heavy step, I never thought I would reach home that day. Second time, was when I just waited for the water to reach the 2nd floor of my house. I decided to just sleep it away and told Grace, my nanny, to give me my best clothes so I'll look better in the event they find my body.


I welcomed death that time, since I knew that my kids were safely tucked in my in-laws house and that the people I loved, knew how much I loved them. Surviving it, and with God's discernment, I knew that I was still to embrace His true essence, LOVE. The submission of my being Human to God and laying everything to him has completely renewed my outlook in life.


Hence, going to the PLATEAU of this story, I chanced upon a person who has completely mirrored how I was , inspired and taught me a lot. This is surprising for me to see it that way despite the personification of intense hurt or pain. So I decided that seeing God in each person makes a lot of difference.

The Letter: Things You Ought to Know

This will start with the letter I sent through e-mail addressed to my siblings. It was one of the lowest points of my life. I was looking for a place to stay. In haste, I left the unit my family were staying at. I was on my own, my kids were staying for the weekend at their Grans place. I was fearing for my life, my sanity. It was 1230pm in the afternoon when i decided to stop and rest my feet and my mind. I saw a cyber cafe and went through the ads for condos, apartments and even rooms. Blinded with tears, I saw the list of my sibling's contacts. I desperately needed someone to hear me. So I wrote...

I am quite saddened by the ideals that I fought for, all along has betrayed me.

I know that youth offered me bountiful, blessed, sheltered and anything-you-can-ask-for life. This, being the youngest in a family of four siblings. Armed with intelligence that only good genes can offer, I was so sure about myself, exuding confidence that I can conquer the world . I thought I knew everything. I was an opinionated almost spoiled college girl.

Bound to be taught by life, I got pregnant and married unprepared. My family's world crumbled. The supposedly next doctor in the clan, stumbled in her biggest mistake. I remember Papa with tears walking me down the aisle. He loved me so dearly.

I thought so differently, I was moral and upright and I was determined to show everyone that it was not a mistake. I would have the loveliest family in the whole world.

Things turned out otherwise. It was a nightmare being married to the person and to the family who I thought was my own. Even at the onset of it, I was already battered, insecure and unprepared. I Stayed at my spouses compound and never surmised I would deal with themost dysfunctional clan of all.

I sought my own family's abode who up unitl now ( I thought?_ the best of all clan...with the line-up of professional uncs and aunts..successful cousins and sibs ) I decided to bring my husband and my baby girl to that world. I was thinking everythings gonna be alright..

We started up a small business initially setup with my spouses' parents. They gave us a pc . We decided to expand and borrow money against my folks. Things started going worse...

My husband failed me and my family. This was brought about by his vices and bad business relationships. It was my family's hard-earned savings. I've never felt the biggest failure of all. Still, I continued to fight for my love..my husband. I would protect him believing that he was my responsibity.

Enumerable years of infidelity, battery, financial abuse,not to mention the constant meddling of his parents, I just kept mum about it. I still wanted to show I had a well-kept family. I believed in the saying that " what God has brought together no one can put assunder"...

With no change of luck, even after coming back from the BIG US of A , I cameback to the same person I was stuck with.

With a little bravery in me, I decided to leave him and do it on my own.

Papa died.. I served him well till his last breath. I thought I redeemed myself..

My husband was there again, I got pregnant with my 2nd baby..I thought it was God's way of saying. " hey, wake up! continue head on w/ your ideals of keeping your family".....

Yes, I went back to manila leaving Mama alone in our place. I thought I needed to do it. I had to prioritize my own family. Nightmare of all nightmares, no one could evertake, not even cinderella, the parents berrated me and made everyday of my life a living hell. I was not a person. I was asked to leave their house on the day of my b-day without any defense. I feel like killing myself. The in-laws and even the husband left me helpless. They were banking on the fact that no one in my family will turn up for help.

I endured all of it wanting to show I did the right thing. I needed people to believe that I had a good husband and being marreid to their clan was a good thing. I was feeling rotten and dying inside. I was a dead man walking, barely keeping on for my kids.

Once again I was thrown out of the compound. Luckily, I thought my husband was at my side. We started on our own in a small apartment inside a village of squatters and drug addicts. I spent my all, sacrificing everything, thinking this is my own family.

The husband was in good nature at first , he was banking on the idea that he got a great wife. A wife who had a good job, who can even afford to maintain a credit card. "Ok ill just charge it anyway you'll share with the bills come your nextpay. That was a good husband-wife relationship.

Things started again, husband is nowhere to be found. After office hours., he would go thorugh several drinking sprees. He even brought the kids in his company outing telling everyone he was a single dad and the mother is a worthless, materialistic whore.

How far worse can it go? It was an endless bouts of battery, verbal abuse, financial abuse and womanizing. It was not only coming from the husband's end but also from his folks.

I started to fear for my life. I was getting hit more often. I braved having him reported or having it blottered with the police one time. My time, my money, the way i dressed up, the people I make friends with, I was even humiliated in my work place once. Infront of my boss and colleagues, my spouse barged in like we came from an ill-bred background. I was thrown out of my own house with all my clothes packed in plastic bags dumped outside. I was constantly harrassed and threatened..

I decided I needed to stop my silence. I still had my family and siblings , the roots where I came from. I begged for help, I thought otherwise. I'm still the same pompous spoiled gal in their eyes. I'm sorry if that's the way I was. I'm scared but I only have God to walk with, I guess that's enough.